


Faking It

by dadezra



Category: Ezra Koenig - Fandom, Vampire Weekend
Genre: Cheating, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Jealousy, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-23
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2018-05-03 02:07:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5272535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dadezra/pseuds/dadezra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ezra Koenig is your best friend's ex boyfriend. She wants your help getting him back but what happens when you end up falling for him yourself?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Part 1  
You’d done it again. You’d tried to fill the gaping hole in your heart with the help of a stranger but it never worked. You are 25 years old. A full fledged, college graduated, degree earning adult. Yet despite these credentials, you still don’t have your shit together. You’d woken up in a stranger’s bed once again, some guy you’d met last night after performing drunken karaoke at a co-worker’s birthday.

You shiver as you exit the apartment lobby and step onto the New York City sidewalk. It’s probably 50 degrees, which is definitely not cold considering you grew up in Michigan, but you pull your sleeves down further to cover your hands and mentally scold yourself for forgetting your jacket. It was just your luck that you were left in last night’s dress. At least it had sleeves. You thanked your past self for remembering to pack flats in your purse this time. The last thing you needed was to be walking home in stilettos at 10 am. You’d feel more embarrassed if you were back home in the midwest, but this is NYC and there were much crazier things to see than a girl doing the walk of shame. 

That jacket you forgot was one of your favorites, left at your house by your ex. It still smelled like him and on particularly lonely nights, and you'd never admit this aloud, you’d curl up with it and pretend he hadn’t left you for a model two months ago. Thinking this, you begin to realize it might’ve been a blessing that you forgot it. Either way, you were not about to take the chance of waking up the mystery man in bed and having to do the awkward exchange. The one where you tell him you won’t leave your number and that it meant nothing. Then he’ll look a little too relieved and you’ll start to feel slightly offended. You’ve had several of those conversations in the duration of the past two months.  
As you speedwalk down the steps to the subway, you feel your phone vibrate and hesitantly pull it out. You already know who it’s going to be. “Monica” it reads. 

“Hey,” You answer while maneuvering your way through a crowded subway, trying hard to find a seat and groaning when you see none are available. The leering eyes of creepy strangers watch your already short dress ride up as you push your way to an open space.   
“Um, hey!” Monica’s high pitched, nasally voice rung a little too loud for your hungover head. “Where the hell are you? I thought we had brunch plans.”  
“I’m sorry.” You say slowly, trying to think of an excuse and failing miserably.  
“Why is your voice so raspy, are you sick?” She asks.  
You clear your throat, “No, I kind of just woke up.” You admit.   
“Ohh!” It clicks in her head. “You went out last night didn’t you? I totally forgot. Did you hook up with someone?”  
“Yeah, no one special though.” You remember lots of making out and then passing out in his bed. Whatever happened in between was a blur.  
“Well you’re coming to my halloween party tonight. I don’t care how hungover you are. No arguing. We can find you someone new, I have lot’s of rich friends I could set you up with! Love you!” And just like that she was gone.   
You sigh, the thought of another party does not sound appealing. Monica was the only person you’d really kept in touch with after graduation and that was only because she made such an effort to see you. Otherwise she’d probably just be another person you’d lost touch with, liking the occasional facebook post of theirs but never anything more.  
The subway stops, and you wade through the crowds once again, eager to get home, shower, and sleep before having to go out again.  
You were just out of the station and onto the street when someone taps your shoulder. You’re used to weirdos in the city bothering you so you keep walking but it happens again. This time, it’s accompanied by a vaguely familiar voice.  
“Hey (Y/N).”  
You spin around once you match the voice with a face and to see Monica’s boyfriend, Ezra. He has a scarf pulled up, covering half his face. He could’ve been anyone but the voice totally gives him away. He catches up to you as you blush, suddenly aware of his eyes taking in your barely there outfit. “Jesus, aren’t you freezing?”   
“I’m fine.” You lie. “I didn’t know you were home from tour.” You quickly change the subject. Ezra had always made you nervous. He was just difficult to read and the two of you had never really clicked. He’s usually on the other side of the country with his band anyway so it’s not like there have been many opportunities to get to know him. All you know is what Monica’s gushed to you about their vacations and skype sessions and sex stories that you tune out during brunch. You’d never been a fan of hearing about other’s relationships. Whenever it was just the two of you it was awkward.  
“Yeah, yeah got back the other day.” He shoves his hand into his pocket and pulls out his phone. Why would he stop me on the street if he wasn’t going to carry on this painful conversation.  
“I bet Monica was happy.” You offer.  
“Hmm… yeah.” He says, not really paying attention. He’s always been like this around you. “She’s been going on about this party. Said I had to be here for it and put me in charge of the drinks.” He raises the grocery bags in his hand.  
“That probably won’t be enough.” I laugh and he frowns.  
They started dating around last christmas so he’d never witnessed one of Monica’s Halloween parties. He had no idea how serious she took them. The thought makes you laugh again and he looks up at you raising an eyebrow. Once again you feel your cheeks flush and you wish you had better control over yourself.  
“Well uh, this is me.” You motion towards the crappy little apartment complex ahead of you, slightly embarrassed by the drab building.  
“Ah,” he nods. “See you tonight I guess.”  
“See you,” you awkwardly wave and make your way inside.

\--------------------------  
“Heyyyy bitch! I thought you’d never make it!” Monica slurs as she slumps against the wall, drink in hand, spilling onto the floor. She’s wearing an elaborate masquerade mask as her costume. You’d decided to be lazy and threw on a pair of cat ears before leaving your apartment.  
“It’s only 9, Monica. How much have you had to drink?” You reach for the champagne glass before she spills the rest and she rolls her eyes. She then takes you by the hand and begins leading you down the hall. I’d always been completely jealous of Monica’s place. A stunning penthouse suite in Manhattan, paid for by her wealthy parents.  
“You’re already trashed, aren’t you?” You knew the answer by the way she was leaning on you for support.  
“No” She lies, “but it’s Halloween! Let’s party!” She raises her fist into the air and runs off for another drink.  
I gulp down what was left in the glass I’d taken from her and make my way to her enormous outdoor terrace where most of the party seems to be happening. There’s a DJ in a full skeleton bodysuit blasting music from large speakers and people are grinding on each other. You can feel the loud bass vibrate through your entire body. You only recognize a few faces but no one to talk to.   
Most of these people knew Monica through a fashion blog she ran. You and Monica came from different worlds. Yours consisted of gritty subway stations, sometimes a cab if you were truly looking to treat yourself, late nights spent working as an assistant, and wine that came from a box in your fridge. Monica’s was limousines and sparkling champagne flutes, butlers and jetting around the world whenever she felt like it.   
You were opposites but college brought you together and soon enough you were joining her on these Hamptons getaways and drinking her parents expensive wine. Her extravagant lifestyle she’d introduced you to was so fun then but now it just felt fake. You were only a guest in this lifestyle, it was never yours. Conversations with her and her blogger socialite friends grew more and more forced for you.  
You decide you’re going to need more alcohol if you’re going to survive the night and as you’re turning for the kitchen, you slam right into Ezra, liquid from his glass spilling all down the front of your dress.  
“Fuck.” You groan, stepping away from him and he’s putting his phone into his pocket. Of course he’s on his phone not paying attention. This is becoming a recurring theme with him.  
“Shit, I’m sorry.” He starts as you move past him to the kitchen, looking for something to dry yourself. Thank god you’d picked a black sweater dress. Warm with sleeves so you wouldn’t be freezing as usual, and short enough to show off your legs. It was good for hiding stains but you were still damp and sticky.  
You grab a hand towel and Ezra is next to you again, still apologizing.   
“Really, (Y/N), I didn’t see you there.”  
“I believe you.” You start dabbing at your chest and realize he’s forcing himself not to look down your low cut neckline. “So why aren’t you out there enjoying the party?”  
He still doesn’t look at you, “I could ask you the same question.”  
“I just got here.” You tell him, waiting for his excuse as to why he was by himself on the phone.   
“Parties aren’t really my thing.” He shrugs so nonchalantly but you find that hard to believe. He must feel your disbelief and he turns back to you, leaning against the island next to you while you’re rinsing the towel.  
“I mean they can be fun… but Monica’s friends…” He pauses but you already get it. They’re exhausting. They’re pretentious.  
“I know what you mean.” You turn and are finally getting a good look at him for the first time tonight. He has on a striped sweater and hat. Waldo. It was a lame costume but you had no room to talk. Cat ears and whiskers sloppily drawn on with an eyeliner pencil weren’t going to win any awards either.  
Some dark waves peek out from underneath the hat and you have to admit he looks good. His eyes look darker than you remember but it’s probably because the kitchen is so dimly lit. Still, they were intense and they were staring directly into yours. You were close enough to notice that he smelled really good too and with that observation you knew you were crossing a line. His intensity, scent, and the bass still thudding in your chest have you feeling weak. The two of you are standing so close...  
“Ezra!” You’re jerked out of the moment by a giggling Monica flinging herself between the two of you.   
You move back, clearing your throat and looking away as her lips smash against his in a moment of drunken passion, at least on her part. He looks almost as uncomfortable as you.   
“I’ve been looking for you!” She leans her head on his shoulder and sits against the island so that the two of them are both are facing you. You see Monica frown at the wet spot on your dress.  
“What happened?”  
“Ezra spilled his drink on me.”   
“Ezzy! What the hell?” She jokingly shoves him and we all pretend to be amused. He sheepishly apologizes again and I say it’s fine. I then excuse myself and try to ignore the feeling of Ezra’s eyes watch as I make my way to the front door.  
“Leaving already, (Y/N)? It’s not even midnight!” It’s one of Monica’s friends. Eric? Aaron? It was one of those names. He seemed to be around a lot.  
“Yeah, not feeling well.” You hardly had any friends here, a wet dress, and the only alcohol you’ve consumed were the few gulps left in Monica’s glass from earlier. Not a great night.  
“Aw, hon, we missed you at brunch today. Monica was crazy and ordered rounds of mimosas but can you blame her? Ezra’s back and she’s soooo excited.” Truthfully this sounds like every single brunch I’d ever been to with her. Alcohol at 10am, discussions of Paris fashion shows, parties you hadn’t been invited to, and of course Ezra. It was so fucking boring to pretend these were things I could relate to.  
“I would be too though, have you seen him in that little waldo outfit? He’s hot!” He continues and points over to where Ezra is still in the kitchen. His eyes catch mine and he quickly turns away. I find myself smiling but I know it’s only because i’ve been lonely since my break up. Sadly, this means basking in any kind of male attention I can get. This is my friend’s boyfriend, I struggle to remind myself. I need to go home and get a grip.


	2. Part 2

It’s 2 am on a Wednesday night and you’re hailing a cab because your boss needs the copyedited manuscript of book she’d assigned you. You had no idea why it couldn’t wait until morning when she’d see you at the office. But as an editorial assistant looking to get promoted to Associate Editor, you probably shouldn’t question your boss’ motives.

You hadn’t been able to sleep anyway. The city seemed particularly noisy outside of your bedroom window and your neighbor's dogs had been barking on and off for the past hour. It seemed to go like that a lot lately.

Every once in awhile though, you remember why you were drawn to the city in the first place. When you first graduated high school and were applying to colleges, New York seemed like the ultimate dream. You were sick of the Midwest- the same boring towns and farms and people. New York City was alive! There was always something to do here, how could you be bored?

College was amazing for you. With Monica’s help, you found yourself making friends left and right. There was always a party or concert to go to when you didn’t feel like studying any more. And when you did need alone time, the art museums were your go-to. That’s also where you met Steven, the ex you wish you could stop thinking about on lonely nights like this.

You were right about the city. You were rarely bored. Probably because you never had the time, you were constantly working. But you began to realize that boredom wasn’t ever an issue. Now it was loneliness. And it seemed ridiculous, especially now as you’re leaning back into the seats of the taxi, looking outside. You could see that even at 2am, the streets are not empty. People are stumbling out of bars even though it’s no longer the weekend. There’s still cars moving and people walking. It never stops. It’s such a difference from your hometown where the streets would be dead by 11.

Soon enough you’re at your destination and are dropping off the manuscript with the concierge in your boss’ luxury apartment. You’ve been coming here for about a year now and he always remembers your name which makes you smile.

“Ms. (Y/N), how are you doing tonight?” He nods as you hand him the folders. He knows the drill.

“Wishing I was in bed, Max.” You both laugh. It’s a lie considering you’ve been in bed all night tossing and turning.

“You and I both.” He chuckles. Max is a sweet older man, the kind that gives lollipops to little kids when they enter the building and loves to tell you about his wife Marcielle. It’s adorable.

He offers you a cherry lollipop from a desk drawer and you happily accept. He remembers it’s your favorite.

“So Max, anything new and interesting in the world of working in a fancy Manhattan apartment?” You pop the treat into your mouth and lean onto the counter. “Any celebrity gossip for me?”

He shakes his head laughing, “(Y/N) you’re too much. You know nothing fun ever happens here. I just answer the phones and buzz in the tenants.”

“Yeah but they’re…” you wink, “celebrity tenants.” You’ve actually been sort of desensitized to celebrities since moving here. You’ve seen your fair share of them just out and about on the streets and in the lobby of this very building. You didn’t care anymore, but it was fun to make Max laugh.

“Ooh!” Max lights up. “I do have something for you, actually!” You nod excitedly.

“The lead singer of a band moved in the other day. I’d never heard of them but my grand daughter, Maya, almost choked on a chicken leg when I told her at dinner. She told me they won a Grammy but I didn’t know what that was either.”

“What band, Max?” You immediately thought to Harry Styles. You didn’t know if he had a Grammy but you’d always had a secret thing for him. You hated how excited you were right now.

“Ezra? I think. Something about Vampires?” He seemed truly puzzled and you burst out laughing. It startled him.

“Sorry Max, it’s just that I know Ezra. He’s moving here?” That didn’t seem right.

“Moved here.” He corrected. “Came last week actually.” You were certain he still lived with Monica in her penthouse. 2 weeks ago was the party and you hadn’t really talked to her since because you were so busy typing up painful rejection letters for your boss. Had something happened between them?

“A girl came here the other night trying to see him but he’d left explicit instructions about no visitors. She seemed pretty upset. She even cried a little.”

What the hell? “Was she skinny, pale? Had dark hair?”

“Sounds like her to me. You know her too?”

“Yeah…” Monica.


	3. Chapter 3

The morning eventually rolls around and you're running errands on about one hour of sleep. You've already chugged a couple ventis by lunch time and you finally have a free moment to call Monica.

After talking to Max for a while more yesterday, explaining to him who Vampire Weekend was, it was late into the night and you were yawning. But sleep didn't come easily once you were back in bed. You were confused, why did Ezra move out? Maybe it's just a space to work on band stuff? And an even better question... why did you care?

You'd spoken to him maybe a handful of times. The party was the most you two had spoken at one time and now whenever you shut your eyes, you saw him. His smirking at you and his delicious cologne. Then the image of Monica kissing him in front of you entered your mind and your stomach turned.

"Hello?" Monica answers, her voice sounding a little more nasally than usual. Which means a lot. It also means something is wrong.

"Hey, it's me." You gulp down more coffee. "How are you?"

"Honestly, (Y/N), not great." She sniffles. Uh oh. "Ezra told me he doesn't want to see me."

"What?" You actually gasp. This answers your question but it's surprising. Besides last week when he'd appeared uncomfortable, they actually seemed to get along well. That was what Monica told you anyway. Ezra might've thought differently. "He broke up with you?"

"No!" She's defensive. "I mean we're going to get back together. He told me he needs space, whatever the fuck that means."

"Wasn't he just on tour for 6 months? Is that not space?" You question, obviously taking your friend's side.

"That's what I said!" Monica wailed. You wince as you hear her blowing into a tissue.

"No, Monica, please don't cry." You look down at your watch and just like that, your miniscule break is over. "Hey I've gotta get back to work but I'm coming over as soon as I'm off, okay?"

"Okay." She answers softly. "See you."

xxxxxxx

You thank the lord there was an empty seat on the subway today. One large enough to fit you and your two bags stuffed full of manuscripts and sales sheets. Your boss let you leave an hour early, which is truly a miracle, because she was jetting off to Paris fashion week. You could've cried tears of happiness until you saw the stack of work she was leaving you.

You were slowly being lulled to sleep by the music in your earbuds. That is until you were rudely shoved by a man trying to wedge his way between you and another woman on the bench. Luckily it was now your stop and your were lugging your bags off to Monica's Penthouse.

You knew things were bad by the music playing as you entered.

"Monica, what is this? Sufjan Stevens really?" You shook your head and she shrugged. "This is too depressing."

She falls onto the couch dramatically, making her tiny dog jump and run away.

"(Y/N) what do I do?" She throws a blanket over herself and groans. You sit down and pull it off her face.

"You need ice cream. And maybe chinese takeout or sushi. And movies. Or do you want real housewives?" You flip on the large flat screen and kick your heels off. Your feet were fucking killing you.

"Will you order for me?" She sniffles, looking like the saddest puppy dog you've ever seen. The smeared mascara under her eyes doesn't help.

"Yeah, what do you want?" You pull out your phone.

"All the sushi. Just everything they have. And whatever you want. Charge it to Ezra's card, he forgot it when he left." She sighs and lays back down. "It serves him right. Oh! But only the good stuff. Tell them my name, they'll know what to send."

You can't help but laugh. There was the Monica you knew, entitled as ever.

xxxxxxx

After consuming what felt like dozens of California Rolls, you were ready to burst and Monica was dishing everything on Ezra. The two of you were analyzing every text and conversation and tweet from the last month, trying to find where it went wrong.

"(Y/N), I love him." She whines and then takes a swig of incredibly expensive red wine straight from the bottle. You grab it from her and take a drink yourself. This was the second bottle of the night.

"I know."

"He'll come back right?" She hiccups.

"Yes, of course." You had no idea really.

"But Steven never came back to you." Monica cried. Ouch. You knew she was definitely drunk now. She would've never said this sober. It was like an unspoken rule amongst you and your friends.

"How'd you get over him?" She rested her head in your lap. You want to tell Monica that you're not. That you'd been lying when you said you were ready to get back out there. That you didn't cry in the bathroom when you saw the model he was now dating at a work event last month.

"It takes time." You run your fingers through her dark, silky hair, "You meet new people. You keep busy and pretty soon you won't even care about him." Complete bullshit.

"When I went to his apartment, he wouldn't even let the door man buzz me in." She sobbed into your lap. "He hates me. Ezra hates me!"

You shushed her. "No no that's not true." You cooed. "You said yourself that he just wants some space. That doesn't mean permanently."

"I think your phone is ringing." She says in between sobs, holding up your phone.

"Missed Call and voicemail from Eileen Nielsen" It reads.

"FUCKKKKKKK." You groan, your head falling back against the leather. Your boss of course. You brace yourself as the message plays.

"(Y/N) I'm packing for Paris and I need you do something for me. It'll be cold there so I need you to get my furs out of storage. I only want the grey Fendi coat and then my favorite black Mink. You know the one. You need to get them to Max downstairs by 10!"

You rolled your eyes and slipped your heels back on. You'd drunk too much wine to be dealing with this right now.

"You're leaving?" Monica grabs you.

"I have to drop something off for my boss. It'll just take a sec."

"Wait!" She smiles for the first time all night. "You said your boss lives in Ezra's building, right?" You had mentioned it earlier.

"Yes..." You could tell something had sparked in Monica and this worried you.

"You need to find him! You can talk to him since he won't speak to me." You start to shake your head profusely.

"No, Monica. No no n-"

"Please!" She grabs you again, pleading, "(Y/N) just tell him that i'm sorry and that he should come home! He always mentions how smart you are, he'll totally listen!" She's beginning to slur her words.

"Wait, he says i'm smart?" He doesn't know me at all?

"Yessss, (Y/N). I told him how you were the smartest one in college and about your job and becoming an editor. He thinks it's cooool." She grins. Holy shit, I didn't know Monica and Ezra talk about me.

"I dunno..." Your words were beginning to slur now too and it was already 9.

"Your friends with the door man! He'll tell you his room number. Please, (Y/N)?" Again with the puppy dog look.

"Fine!" You shook her off and grabbed your coat. "But you owe me."

"Of course!" She kisses your cheek. Why did you feel so nervous all of a sudden?

xxxxxxxx

Your pulling your boss' enormous fur coats out of the cab when you hear the voice.

"Hey, need some help?" You turn and see Ezra strolling down the sidewalk towards you. He had the same scarf he wore the last time you saw him on the streets, pulled up over his face. No hat this time and his hair was blowing wildly in the wind. You imagined how nice it would feel to run your fingers through.

"Wait, (Y/N)?" He raised an eyebrow as he approached you and you give a little wave.

"What are you doing on this side of the city?" He took one of the bags from your hands. They were wrapped in what looked like a bodybag and they were giving you the creeps. The fact that these were once on an animal's body was also creepy to you.

"My boss lives here," You motion up to the building. "She needed these coats I guess."

"Oh no way, I just moved in here." He smiles and it's contagious. Pretty soon you're just smiling stupidly up at him, not sure what to say. Wow cool! Or why did you break up with my best friend, you asshole?!

"Yeah, Monica mentioned that..." Hearing this made his smile immediately disappear.

"Come on, I'll help you bring these up." He leads you to the doors and Max greets the two of you.

"Good evening, Mr. Koenig." He winks at you, "Miss (Y/N)."

You stumble trying to enter the elevator and your face heats up as Ezra grabs your arm.

"Woah there. You good?" He lets go when you've regained your balance.

"I was kind of drinking before my boss called me. I'm a little tipsy." You admit, sure that your face is bright red now. What normal person is drunk on a Thursday night? You should've never stepped outside and just tipped your cab driver extra to run the bags in.

He helps you find your way to your boss' door without falling to the ground. She grabs them from you both, not saying any sort of thank you and shuts the door in your faces.

"That was pleasant." Ezra laughs.

"She's great." You roll your eyes and he laughs again.

"I'm on the next floor, do you want to come up?" He extends his hand. Surely because you're having a hard time walking in these heels but it makes your heart beat a little faster.

"Okay." You take his hand.

"At least until you sober up a bit." He chuckles again and you sort of feel like dying.


	4. Chapter 4

You stare at yourself in the mirror, patting down flyaway hairs and making sure you don't look like a sloppy, drunk mess in general. You'd excused yourself to Ezra's bathroom and immediately tried calling Monica in a panic but she didn't answer. Of course. She was probably passed out anyway.

You were surprised how quaint Ezra's place was. It was very nice but surprisingly... simple. Walking in, you'd expected something similar to your boss' suite or Monica's, which were elegant and a little over the top. For example, grand pianos and chandeliers over their california-king size waterbeds and televisions that stretch to cover an entire wall.

When you leave the bathroom, he greets you with a glass of water and leads you to the living room.

"Nice place." You say, sitting down on a comfy looking leather chair. You sigh as your tired body sinks in. "This chair is amazing."

Ezra laughs loudly and kneels down beside a pile of boxes in the center of the room. He drinks the wine he'd poured for himself.

"This place isn't much so far," He motions to the almost bare room, there's some furniture, a tv, and lots of empty bookshelves. "There's still lot's of unpacking to do." You wouldn't have to worry about unpacking, if you would've stayed with Monica, you think to yourself.

"Even so, it's better than my apartment. This place is like a hotel in comparison." You admit. Surely that wasn't a surprise to him, you'd pointed your building out to him that bad day he stopped you on the street

Ezra shakes his head, waving off your compliments. He opens up one of the boxes.

"Woah, are those all vinyls?" You ask, setting your glass on the coffee table and reaching for one of the records peeking out of the cardboard.

"Yup, all of these boxes are filled with them actually." He blows the dust off a particularly dated one.

"How do you have so many?" There must be hundreds here. You start rummaging through a stack. There's every genre you could imagine, Fleetwood Mac, 2Pac, Vivaldi, Bob Marley, Adele...

"A lot of the older ones were my father's. He started collecting when I was young and the two of us would go to garage sales and just buy stacks and stacks of whatever ones they had for sale. It's kind of a habit now, I keep buying them." He hands you a dust covered record. You wipe it off and it's "Something Else" by The Kinks. "Happy 14th Birthday Ezzy! Love Mom & Dad" was scrawled on the back in sharpie marker.

"That's sweet." You giggle. "Ezzy."

He jokingly winks at you and your stomach flips. Oh god.

"Oh shit, here's a classic." He jumps from his seat on the floor over to the record player on the bookshelf. "Get ready for this."

"Oh I'm ready." You burst out laughing as Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive" blasts out of the speakers. "Oh my god, Ezra."

He grabs the tv remote off the coffee table and uses it as a microphone. "At first I was afraid, I was PETRIFIEEEEDDD!" He dramatically brings his hand to his chest, covering his heart and passionately sings. You'd never seen him like this before. Usually he was in a corner on his phone.

"Kept thinkin' I could never live without you by my side!" He points to you. "But I spent so many nights, thinkin' how you did me wrong, and I grew STRONG!" He curls his arm up to flex and you crack up. This is a brand new Ezra to you. "AND I LEARNED HOW TO GET ALONG!"

You almost choke on your water as he starts doing classic disco moves in front of you. You can tell he's trying hard to keep a straight face as he reaches a hand out and pulls you to your feet. He cranks the song even louder and drinks down more of the alcohol. Now he's the drunk one.

"I will survive! I will SURVIVVEEE!" The two of you belt into his makeshift microphone. Pretty soon the two of you are jumping around his living room and dancing like crazy people. You're sure his neighbors hate the two of you and you'd look like maniacs to anyone that looked through the windows, but whatever. You're both a little tipsy and it's a good song.

You're too wobbly to dance to the rest of the album but that doesn't stop Ezra. You flop onto the couch and cheer him on as he serenades you with 70's disco hits.

"You are the dancing queen! Young and sweet only seventeen!" He sings along to ABBA. Your stomach hurts from laughing so hard at his ridiculous moves. He pushed the coffee table out of the way 2 songs ago to show off his "sick Pulp Fiction dance moves" and then proceeded to do the entire dance from the movie.

After "Stayin' Alive" ends, Ezra turns it down and falls to the floor in exhaustion

"What a wild Thursday night." He laughs and runs a hand through his (now sweaty) hair.

"Are those the moves you do onstage at Vampire Weekend concerts?" You tease. This is the most comfortable you've felt with Ezra in the entire time that you've known him. He almost feels like a friend. All of the tension seemed to disappear as the two of you bellowed into a remote and attempted to recreate the dances from "Saturday Night Fever. ' Never in a million years would you have thought you'd be having fun with him.

"Actually yes." He turns his head to you and smirks. 'Is that alcohol wearing off yet?"

"A little." You smile back. "Are you drunk now?"

"A little." He smiles. "But you should sleep here." And just like that, as soon as the tension disappeared, it resurfaced again. You felt your cheeks flush.

"What?"

"I mean if you'd like? I have an air mattress, I think?" He says quickly and gets up from the ground to find the particular box. "You can take the bed, I'll stay out here."

"I'm fine on the couch actually." You insist as he digs.

"Are you sure? I swear it's here somewhere..." This time he's the one who is acting flustered.

"Yes." You spread out on the cool leather material. It felt amazing on your hot skin. "This couch is probably more comfortable than my shitty bed at home, to be honest."

Xxxxxxx

Ezra ends up bringing you too many pillows and several blankets. You're surprised he has any left for himself. He also offers you an enormous tee shirt and pair of sweats. You graciously accept even though you look like you're a midget inside of a giant's clothing.

It's been a long day for you both physically and emotionally. You can't wait to fall asleep, especially now that it's past midnight but your brain keeps replaying the events of your day. Work and your boss and Ezra and Monica. Oh my god, you'd almost forgotten about Monica and the reason for this entire night.

You scramble through your purse in the dark for your phone. After struggling, you eventually retrieve it and see to your horror, 10 texts from Monica.

"whats up did you get into the building?

"Did u find his apartment number??"

"I hope he's home"  
"(Y/N)!!!! Helllllooooooooo"

"did ur cab driver murder u?!"

"(Y/N)!!! Are u w ez rn?"

"Ask him why he moved out"

"Tell him i miss him pls and that im sorry"

"I miss him so much"

"And that i love him"

Shit...... you audibly groan as you lay back onto the couch. You'll text back in the morning.

You hadn't brought up Monica at all. Ezra seemed to be in such a good mood that you didn't want to ruin and the two of you were having fun. It'd been awhile since you had a fun night like this. Even with your friends, it hadn't felt this carefree in a long time.

The door to Ezra's room opens and you quickly lock your phone, pretending you're asleep. Ezra stumbles into the living room trying to tiptoe but failing miserably as he stubs his toe into the leg of the coffee table. He hisses quietly, thinking you're sound asleep.

He lifts his phone up for a dim light as he grabs some clothes from a box. You look over and almost gasp when you see he's in a towel that's only covering his lower half. It's barely light enough for you to make out his pale skin in the dark and his wet hair dripping onto his forehead. He tiptoes back to his room and when the door shuts, you release a breath of air you didn't know you'd been holding.

Why was this boy making you feel things you didn't want to be feeling? And thoughts that you most definitely shouldn't be thinking. There is only a thin wall between you and and a freshly showered, probably now naked Ezra Koenig. Who is making you incredibly turned on and who also happens to be your best friend's ex(?) boyfriend. The same best friend who sent you here to get them back together. Now you're on his couch drooling over him. You can't believe the situation you're in.


	5. Chapter 5

Morning arrives much too quickly for your liking. The cracks in the blinds are lined up perfectly so that the sunlight is streaming directly into your eyes. You angrily sit up when you realize there's no use trying to fall back asleep.

You're angry with yourself for the dull headache you have, even after drinking all that water last night. You're angry that you spent the night in Ezra's apartment, you're angry that you had so much fun with him, and you're angry that you're even angry about these things. Deep inside, you know that it's probably just because you're hungover, but you feel extremely frustrated.

You can't find the energy to change back into your outfit from yesterday, you simply stuff it into your purse and leave. Oversized sweatpants and high heels, what a look.

In the elevator, you put on sunglasses. Partly because the florescent lights are painful and partly because you don't want Max to recognize you. You pray that he isn't working the front desk today. You audibly groan when the doors open to reveal your friend sitting at the desk ahead of you. The businessmen also in the elevator glare at you for your outburst but you're halfway across the lobby before they can say anything.

"Please don't notice me, please don't notice me." The mantra repeats in your head. You love Max, you really do, he's the nicest old man you've ever met. He's there to talk to when no one else is. As weird as it is, you consider him a good friend, but you're trying to get out of here before Ezra wakes up. And the last thing you want is for Max to assume anything.

Not that Max would care about who you slept with or that you would ever discuss that kind of thing with him. Though if someone were to put the pieces together, it definitely looks like the two of you slept together last night. Which of course you didn't!

"Oh my god, (Y/N), why do you care so much?" The voice in your head nags. You don't know why you care so much. You've strutted down the street after a one night stand plenty of times without caring. You'd done it just last week. So why were you so worked up over just sleeping on a guy's couch?

"(Y/N!)" You hear from behind. Oh no. Oh no. You walk a little faster and hear it again as you walk out the front door. You're a terrible person. Sorry Max.

Xxxx

Back at home, multiple coffees later, you're ready to start working on the manuscripts your boss left. Work is never fun, especially reading book after book about subjects you're not interested in, but right now it is a welcomed distraction. You don't have to come into the office today because of Eileen's trip to Paris so at least you can read them on your couch in pj's and not at an uncomfortable desk.

If only you hadn't left both of your bags at Monica's. When you remember this, your phone begins vibrating. You'd probably feel creeped out at the coincidence if you weren't feeling so done with everything in general.

"(Y/N)? Is that you? Did I dial a wrong number or are you actually answering?" Monica laughs and you roll your eyes.

"Sorry, Monica. Last night was a mess."

"What happened? You never came back and I sorta freaked out."

"I actually..." You consider lying, but there's no point, "fell asleep at Ezra's..." The line is quiet for a moment.

"(Y/N)..." Monica says quietly. She's mad, you know it.

"(Y/N) that's perfect!" Wait what?

"How so...?" You're relieved she's not pissed at you but still lost.

"You guys are getting closer! Becoming friends! If he trusts you, then he'll totally believe you when you tell him getting back with me is what he should do!" She's squealing with excitement. You can picture her clutching the phone and bouncing up and down on her sofa cushions.

"To be honest with you, Monica, we didn't talk about your relationship last night. We talked about music and then I pretty much passed out." That's mostly the truth. No way you'll tell her about the two of you singing duets last night. You cringe at just the thought.

"Oh. That's okay... he-" She's cut off by a beep on your phone. You pull away to see an unknown number calling.

"Hang on, Monica, I have another call." "Hello?"

"Hey, what happened to you?" It's a man's voice. He sounds groggy like he just woke up. It's Ezra. Oh god, it's Ezra.

"Ezra?"

"Yeah. I hope it's not weird but I went down to the lobby and the doorman told me you left and then he gave me your number."

"Max? How did he have my number?" You don't remember ever giving him your number. You've never talked to him outside of the Apartment complex.

"Turns out your boss has you down as one of her emergency contacts in the file he has." Weird. "He didn't want to give it to me but I can be very persuading." His voice sounds extra raspy through the phone and then he laughs and it's all very overwhelming.

"You had him going through a tenant's private files for a phone number? That's impressive. And probably illegal." The two of you laugh. You can't believe he called you? You can't believe he went to the trouble of bothering Max for it.

"You left too quickly for me to get my clothes back." Oh. So that's why he called. He doesn't care that you left early. He just wants his pajamas back and he doesn't care if he ever sees you again.

"Oh shit." You look down at your attire. "Sorry, I figured you had things to do today and didn't want to bug you by lounging on your couch all morning. I can bring them back, sorry."

"I'm just messing with you, I don't mind." You can see yourself in the reflection of the glass sliding door that leads to the patio. Your cheeks are flushed bright red. You want to slap yourself for reacting that way.

"Oh."

"I have the day off though. It's a pretty rare occasion. Do you want to get lunch or something?" Your stomach erupts with butterflies for probably the millionth time in 24 hours.

"Um, hang on." You switch to your other call. "Monica! Are you still there?"

"Yeah who was it?"

"Ezra." You want to scream but manage to keep your voice steady.

"Oh my god, (Y/N)! What did he say? Anything about me?" She screams instead.

"No, he wants to get lunch. What the fuck do I say?" You're anxiously pacing around your living room.

"Yes! Obviously. Our plan is working out so well! Say yes and then get him to talk about us."

"Are you sure, Monica? It's not weird?" You feel like it's weird. You feel like you're tricking him.

"No! Tell him you'll go!" You reluctantly switch back.

"Ezra? Okay. Let's get lunch."

Xxx

"And I'll have the garden omelette with coffee and a water." You and Ezra hand over your menus. The younger girl, probably college-aged, grabs them and grins at Ezra, completely ignoring you. He smiles back and gives a charming "thanks" while you shift awkwardly in the booth.

After the waitress leaves, his attention is back on you. You're sat across from each other in the corner of a dingy diner a few blocks from your apartment. You've never been here before but Ezra insisted because "they have the best omelettes in the city." Apparently that was a well kept secret because it was almost empty. Only one other table is occupied.

"So I brought your clothes." You motion to your purse sitting next to you. You were suddenly nervous and didn't know how else to start a conversation.

"(Y/N)" He smiles. He says your name so well. It's a strange thing to notice but it just sounds so good coming out of his mouth. "I was teasing you. You could keep the clothes for all I care."

"Okay." You say softly, reaching for the silverware to have something to fiddle with.

"So I take it you have the day off too?" He asks.

"Kind of. I have a few manuscripts to work on but I can do that from home today." You explain.

"Ahh." He nods, running his hands through the waves of his hair. You know you're staring but can't help it. "That must be a chill job, huh? Just reading and making notes on books?"

"That's like saying to you, you just go on stage and sing some songs." You smirk. "There's a lot more to it, right?"

"Well that is basically what I do." He teases.

"You know what I mean." You roll your eyes. The waitress brings the drinks and you eagerly reach for the selection of creamers, trying to find the best flavor for your coffee.

"Ugh." He winces, glaring at you.

"What?"

"Don't tell me you're one of those people who will only drink coffee after they've distorted the actual taste with cream and sugar." He picks up his mug of black coffee, gulping it down. Now you're wincing. You choose several hazelnut creamers and make a big show of pouring them into your coffee and thoroughly enjoying it.

"Don't tell me you're one of those people who pretend to like black coffee to look cool." Ezra fake gasps and holds a hand to his heart like he's truly offended.

"Um, I am cool."

Eventually your omelettes arrive and the two of you chow them down at embarrassing fast speeds. You were both still a little hung over and Ezra was right, they are amazing. You laughed about last night's drunken "performance" and Ezra joked that you should join the band. This led to a discussion about Vampire Weekend and you admitted that you'd only heard their biggest hits that that you'd never seen them live. He promises to play you Vampire Weekend's deep cuts because you're "obviously missing out by being a fake fan."

After scarfing down the omelettes, Ezra orders a side of hash browns and he convinces you to order bacon and let him have a few pieces. Soon enough you were comfortable again. Ezra was like you in the way that you both seemed different before you got to know each other.

With Ezra, he was intimidating and a little arrogant. You now knew that he was actually friendly and witty. With you, before warming up to someone you could be quiet, which you knew could come off as judgy at times. You were really just an anxious person when you were around someone you liked. You didn't want to like Ezra this much but you did.

"So.." you begin, knowing it was finally time to bring up the subject you'd been dreading. Ezra raises an eyebrow and steals another piece of your bacon. "I feel like we should talk about Monica..."

Ezra sets his coffee mug down and avoids your eyes for the first time today. It's usually yourself avoiding the eye contact with him. The waitress from across the room catches him looking over near her and she gives a quick wave.

"Wow, someone has a crush." You laugh, referring to the girl who was obviously flirting, trying to lighten the topic. It's never fun to talk about exes, you would know.

He gives a half hearted chuckle and shakes his head, then turns back to you and shrugs. "I dunno. Monica and I are just different."

"Different can work well together though." You offer. Opposites attract isn't a saying for nothing, right? You began to think about all the ways you and Ezra were different from each other. Ezra is a rockstar and you read books for a living, that's quite a difference. You have to remind yourself that this is about Monica instead.

"Sometimes true. Sometimes you think you have something in common and then it turns out you're nothing alike." He rests his head in his hands. "Sometimes you thinks there's more to someone but there isn't." That's cryptic and you're bad with advice. The two of you stay silent for a moment.

"I know it's not my business," Actually Monica's made this completely my business, "but I do know that Monica really cares about and loves you more than anything. She tells me all the time."

"Yeah..." I doesn't really seem like he's listening but he looks up and gives you a sad smile.

"Break-ups suck, dude." You don't know what else to say. So much for getting them back together with one conversation. On one hand you don't really care if they get back together, you're happy to hang out with Ezra as long as you can keep your feelings in check. It doesn't help that you feel like you're blushing every time he simply looks at you. On the other hand, the sooner they get back together, the sooner you're done acting as a middleman to their screwed up relationship and you're sure these feeling you have will go away and you'll be back to your life of work and one night stands.


	6. Part 6

“I don’t know, Audrey. Don’t you think it’s a bit…” You pat the feathers on the bodice of the dress and grimace, “bird-like?”  
“Babe, no. This is couture.” Audrey laughs. “I’ll have you know, Rihanna wore this exact dress to the Grammy’s last year.”  
You’re standing in the closet at Allure Magazine, surrounded by full-size mirrors, allowing you to see the puffy dress engulfing you in all angles.   
“Well Rihanna can definitely pull off some looks that I can’t.” You admit as Audrey, the girl who always helps you with event fittings, works on unzipping.   
Tonight is a big gala hosted by Conde Nast, the company that owns the publication group you work for and about a million other media businesses. Which is why Allure allows you and your colleagues to get glammed up here instead of scraping something together from your own closet. Thank god too, because as bad as this looked on you, it was much better than anything you could afford.  
“So who’s the date?” She asks as the two of you reach for the next dress in the pile.   
“Just a guy from work.” You lift the gown over your head and feel the soft material conform to your figure. It’s much different than the Rihanna dress. It’s a slimming velvet gown with a slit on the side that goes to your upper thigh in a deep red color.   
“Wow.” Audrey says softly as she steps back, letting you get a good look at yourself.  
“What do you think?” You grin, loving how long it makes your legs look.  
“I think you look sexy as hell and will definitely be getting some from your date tonight!” She squeals and bursts out laughing as you gasp and playful shove her arm.  
“Stop!” You laugh, “I barely know the guy.” He is very attractive though and seeing yourself in the mirror, admittedly looking great, you feel yourself getting more and more excited.   
You hadn’t been to an event like this since you’d broken up with Steven. It felt off not to be getting ready at his place and then arriving with him on your arm. You kept pushing those thoughts to the back of your mind.   
“You don’t miss him specifically, you just miss having someone.” Is what you always tell yourself.  
And now you have someone for the night. Garrett is the guy that asked you to be his date. You’d seen him around the Conde Nast cafeteria several times but had never spoken. Then last week when you were so entranced by your laptop screen, trying to cram as much work into your lunch break as possible, it happened. You’d hardly noticed someone had sat next to you. It wasn’t until they started clearing their throat that it registered. At first you were annoyed and about to offer this person a cough drop until you yanked an earbud out and looked up. This guy was hot. Like Hemsworth brother kind of hot.  
“Hi, I’m Garrett.” He held a hand out and grinned. His teeth were blindingly white and his grip was strong.  
“I told myself that I would finally come speak to you instead of just sneaking glances all the time.” He bit into his sandwich and you almost choked on your drink.   
“Hi…” You were slightly stunned. “I’m (Y/N). What department do you work in?”   
“I do advertising for GQ.” He shrugs as if it’s not extremely impressive. You usually only interacted with interns and assistants from your department but this guy was the real deal. The gaudy silver Rolex casually resting on his wrist and the whiff of fragrant aftershave was another indicator this guy had his shit together and it was extremely attractive.  
I soon abandoned my laptop work and was in a full conversation about which celebrities would be at the gala coming up.  
“I bet Jay-Z will be there.” Garrett looked excited.  
“I wouldn’t care unless Beyonce showed up with him.” Celebrities weren’t really your thing but Beyonce was a major exception.  
“Well…” He smiled, “I may or may not have the guest list on my phone right now.”  
My eyes widen. “Um how?”  
“My boss trusts me a lot.” You knew he was showing off in order to impress you but you didn’t care, it was working. “He trusts me to not go around showing these important documents to cute girls in the cafeteria, but sometimes you’ve gotta do what you gotta do.”   
You feel your cheeks redden slightly. “Garrett, was this your plan?” You laugh, “to come over here, using Beyonce to lure me away from finishing my work by deadline?”  
“I would never!” He teases and pulls the document up on his phone. The two us lean over the device and scroll through endless names of mostly people I’ve never heard of, probably other employees and then some celebrities. Near the end was the heading “Performers.” There were always several musical guests.   
“Justin Timberlake, HAIM, Nick Jonas, and… Vampire Weekend.” You read aloud.  
“Damn. No Beyonce.” Garrett shook his head putting his phone away.  
Your chat goes on for another 5 minutes until you had to get back to work. You sighed when gathering your belongings, because staying there and flirting with this Liam Hemsworth lookalike was much more appealing than the rest of your day.  
You’d said your goodbyes and was almost to the elevator when you heard a “(Y/N) wait up a second!” You turn and Garrett is jogging over.  
“What’s up?”  
“I know this is sudden but would you like to go to the gala next week with me?” Your heart starts beating quickly but you compose yourself.   
“I would love that.”

xXx

“Winged eyeliner should not be this hard.” You complain as you try to perfect your left eye for what feels like the 17th time.  
“Do you want me to do it?” Monica points to the perfectly winged eyeliner sitting atop her own eyes and smirks.  
You look at the clock and realize you can’t afford to waste any more time it. Garrett’s arriving any minute.  
“Fine.” You give in and Monica comes over to help you.  
“So are you excited?!” She asks while effortlessly gliding the liquid across your eyelid.  
“Kind of. It’s so crazy this is a mandatory requirement for my job, go eat dinner and then party.” You step back and examine yourself one last time. You’re so happy with the gown that Audrey picked out. The red velvet was sexy and comfortable. Your heels were high but you could handle them. You looked good. Still you felt jittery with nerves.  
“Garrett is so hot, I’m sure it’ll be amazing.” The two of you had facebook creeped on him earlier. You hadn’t mentioned to Monica that Vampire Weekend was playing tonight. That was part of the reason you were feeling a little nervous.   
You hadn’t spoken to Ezra since getting breakfast almost three weeks ago. You were sure he was busy with his band and you were constantly busy with your own job. You hated that you spent the entire week afterward, checking your phone every hour hoping for a text from him. You didn’t know what you wanted that text to say though, you just missed him.  
Monica wanted you to text him to continue with her plan. You’d lied and said you did and that Ezra just never responded. “What an asshole.” She’d grumbled.  
Your phone chimes. “Speaking of Garrett,” you read his message, “he’s here.”  
“Have fun! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Monica calls on your way out.  
“That doesn’t leave much!” You wink.


	7. Part 7

The venue is dark and beautiful and intimate. It’s being held in the planetary exhibit of a museum, where the ceiling is painted to look like Van Gogh’s Starry Night. It may just be the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. There’s dozens of circular tables draped in white cloth with flowers and lit candles. There’s a stage and a dance floor in the center with a jazz quartet playing along to Justin Timberlake’s heavenly voice. If you were only seeing pictures of the place, you would’ve assumed it was someone’s dream wedding.  
You and Garrett are sat at the furthest corner table with two other couples. You don’t know who they are but Garrett seems to. In fact, he seems to know just about everyone here. Since entering the museum, there hasn’t been a quiet moment to talk. Multiple people have called him over to chat, people that you would’ve been too intimidated to talk to on your own. But Garrett was great at making you feel welcomed and you beamed as he introduced you as “(Y/N), my beautiful date.”   
Now back at the table, Garrett has his hand on your knee as you all make small talk. The two of you have been eating lunch together every day now and texting almost nonstop. It feels good to have someone new in your life that isn’t   
(A.) your best friend’s ex boyfriend or  
(B.) a cheating jerk (at least not that you know of.)  
He’s sweet. He pulls the chair out for you even when it’s just the work cafeteria. He remembers when you mention you have a meeting with your boss and makes sure to text you afterwards, asking how it went. And he’s so handsome, especially tonight with his suit and barely-there scruff along his prominent jaw line. You feel your heart pick up the pace as his hand on your thigh moves a little higher.  
You can see Ezra out of the corner of your eye though, and he’s not making things easy for you right now. He’s at a table closer to the stage with the rest of the celebrities, wearing a black tux with a bow tie. Half the men here are wearing the exact same look but for some reason you can’t keep your eyes off of him. He’s in an intense looking conversation with someone else but then to your horror, he looks up and his eyes catch yours. He knows you were staring by the way his lips turn up into a smirk. He lifts a hand to wave and you smile, thinking that’s the end of the interaction but then he pushes his chair back and gets up.  
“You okay?” Garrett asks and you turn back to him and his concerned face.  
“What?” You say too quickly.  
“It looks like you were zoned out there.” He laughs, “What are you thinking about?”  
You try to brush it off when a hand lays on your shoulder and a voice says your name.  
“Ezra, hi.” You turn around in your chair. He’s standing above you and you can confirm he looks even more handsome up close. The waves in his hair are pushed up to the side and it looks jet black, matching his suit. It makes his eyes stand out even more and they’re so intense, you have to look away.  
“Hey, I didn’t know you would be here.” A strand of hair falls to his forehead and he pushes it back over.  
“Yeah,” You gulp, “For work.”  
“Well…” His eyes go to the slit in your dress, moving down the side of your exposed leg. “You look incredible.” His eyes stop at the hand still resting on your thigh.   
“Thanks.” Your face is probably the shade of your gown now. “You do too.”  
He smiles and nods slightly, putting his hands into his pockets. Why were the two of you always so awkward at first?  
“Oh, um this is Garrett.” You almost forgot him sitting there beside you. “My date.” Was that the right word?  
Garrett stands up and reaches a hand out to Ezra over your head. Ezra is tall but Garrett is a few inches taller. Ezra shakes his hand with a tight smile.  
“Garrett, this is Ezra, my… friend.” Again, was that the correct word?  
“Hi, Ezra.” Garrett genuinely smiles, whereas Ezra looks tense. “I don’t believe we’ve ever met.” That must be unusual for Garrett who’s used to knowing everyone wherever we go.   
“No, I don’t believe so. I’m here with my band.”  
“Oh band? Are you performing tonight?” Garrett pulls an empty chair from the table beside us, motioning for him to join us.   
“You’re in Vampire weekend right?” One of the women at our table asks. “They have that Hey Ya song.” She explains to the rest of the table but everyone looks thoroughly confused.   
“Hey Ya is actually an Outkast song. Ours is Ya Hey.” Ezra explains, sitting in the chair.  
You laugh but the rest of table remains quiet, Ezra shoots you a quick smile. Apparently no one here knows who Outkast is either.  
Everyone begins asking Ezra questions about his band and what it was like winning a Grammy. Soon enough they’re all deep in conversation and you find yourself quietly mesmerized by him. The way his eyes light up when he discusses something he’s passionate about, his adam’s apple that bobs up and down, and the one piece of hair that keeps falling out of place down his forehead.  
All the details of him were perfect, and by looking around the table, you can tell he is working his magic on everyone. The women are swooning and even Garrett can’t help but nod along at the stories he’s telling.  
Eventually you lift up your glass to realize you’re empty. You lean into the crook of Garrett’s neck, as not to interrupt Ezra, and whisper into his ear that you’re going to find more drinks. When you pull away, you find Ezra’s eyes fixed on the two of you.  
“Okay, babe.” Garrett whispers back and kisses your cheek as you stand and then walk off in search of the open bar. 

Xxxx  
Trying to carry two very full wine glasses through a crowd is extremely nerve-wracking.   
“My name is Ezra…” You can hear from stage and you turn to see him introducing everyone in the building to Vampire Weekend. “We hope you’re all having a lovely night. We’re going to play a few songs for you now.”  
They begin playing “Step” with the jazz quartet and it sounds beautiful. After eating breakfast with him a few weeks ago, you’d logged into your Itunes account and downloaded their albums. No longer could Ezra call you a fake fan.  
“There you are.” Garrett weaves through the crowd to you and takes one of the drinks from your hand. “I thought I’d lost you.” He wraps an arm around your waist and you’re pressed to his side.  
“Sorry,” you smile, looking up at him, “I was a little distracted.”  
“I don’t blame you. These guys are really good.” He sips his drink. “Ezra is really cool too. How do you know him?”  
“Mutual friends.” That’s all you say. You watch Ezra do his thing on stage and your mind wanders to Monica. As much as it pained you, you really needed to get back on track with finding out what really happened between them. He’d acted so weird and sad the first time you asked about Monica. You didn’t like to bother him but you had promised Monica you’d try your best.  
Step turns into Hannah Hunt, which turns into Everlasting Arms, and then finally I Think Ur a Contra. You find yourself and Garrett swaying back and forth to these jazzy versions of the songs. You never thought Ezra was untalented but you were astounded at how great they were live. The room bursts into applause as Ezra steps down with the rest of the band. The next group comes on and you lose sight of him in the crowd of people. You were also starting to feel a little light headed from the alcohol.   
Garrett had already moved on to talking to another group of people so you easily slipped away and walked along the outer edges of the room. You look up as you pass under large replicas of the planets that are hanging from the ceiling. They’re draped with twinkling lights that remind you of stars.   
You find a staircase that you assume will lead you to the roof for some fresh air. As you make your way up the the multiple stories you hear a giggle and spin around.  
“Shhh.” It’s a woman laughing quietly. “Stop, there’s someone here.”  
Whoever it is, it’s coming from the next flight.   
“Babeeeee.” They giggle again. You assume it’s a couple trying to hook up but you just keep walking. They can do whatever they want, you’re just trying to make it to the roof.   
You start walking up the next staircase and see at the top, a woman with her back against the wall and a man who’s face you can’t see, nuzzled into her neck. You can barely see her in the darkness but the features you do see look familiar. She moans until she sees you and swats at his back. “Steven!” She half hisses half laughs.  
“Steven, oh my god.” She throws her head back as he continues his attack on her neck and his arms wrap tighter around her small body.  
You freeze when you hear the name. Steven. You knew the girl looked familiar. She’s beautiful… a model. The girl your ex left you for. Your ex named Steven. Your heart stops when you piece the scene together.  
The girl looks at you after calming down a little, her face completely flushed, “Sorry…” She offers to you as you hurry past as best you can in a pair of heels, which is definitely not fast enough.  
You shove the door open and are greeted by a violent gust of wind. It blows your hair out of place but it’s the least of your worries now that your chest feels so tight. You hold on tightly to the railing and focus on catching your breath.   
“Are you okay?” The voice comes from further down and your head shoots up in fear. You can barely make out who the figure is coming near you. The last thing you need is to be murdered tonight. But soon enough the lights coming off the other buildings and skyscrapers illuminate his face and you really can’t believe it.  
“What the hell?!” You want to shout but it comes out shaky and hardly menacing.  
“Sorry, I just came up here for some air.” He says.  
“You scared me.” You turn back to the railing and bend your head down, resuming your deep breaths.  
Ezra stands close and puts a hand on your back. It moves up and down as your heart beat finally slows to a less panicked rate. He doesn’t say anything as you turn and slide down the wall until your butt hits the hard concrete. Audrey would be horrified to know this dress touched the dirty ground. Even Ezra winces but soon enough he’s joining you and shrugging off his tuxedo jacket.  
“Here.” He places it over your shoulders and only then you notice yourself shivering.   
“Thank you.” You whisper. The cars and taxis down below don’t stop honking and the people on the streets don’t stop their conversations but it feels so quiet. There’s only a few inches between you and Ezra and everything comes to a standstill. It’s you, him, and your shaky breaths.   
“What happened, (Y/N)?” You’d never seen him so serious. You’d seen him distant and quiet but this was entirely different.   
“It’s so stupid.” A single tear falls and you hate yourself for it. He doesn’t respond, he just keeps staring at you, waiting. For some reason you feel like you can trust him. He’s watching your face so intently, he knows you’re hurt.   
“I ran into my ex boyfriend and the girl he cheated on me with.” It comes out too quickly, in one breath. Ezra frowns.   
“I ran into them in the stairway. He didn’t even look up from kissing her.” You wipe your eyes with the sleeve of his jacket, figuring it was too late to be worried about the state of their clothing now that they were both on the filthy ground.   
“I was so dumb, Ezra. I actually thought he was going to propose to me and then I came home and found her shoes in the living room. I knew something was wrong and then I could hear them in the bedroom.” You don’t like telling this story. You’d only told your mom later that night, on the phone in tears. Even Monica didn’t know. She’d begged for details and had so many questions but you were too embarrassed.   
“I’ve never told anyone that. I feel so fucking stupid. It had been going on the entire time, I mean how could someone not realize.” More tears fall and you keep wiping them with his sleeve. Your voice cracks, “It must’ve been so obvious though, I feel like everyone knew. So dumb… so dumb…”   
“Stop.” Ezra reaches up to your cheek and wipes away more tears. “Don’t say that. You’re not dumb.”  
“How did I not know?” You look up but your eyes are too blurry to focus on his face. You just lean onto his side and sob. This is so embarrassing but you can’t stop. You’ve pushed everything to the back of your mind and avoided it for so long, it was finally surfacing.   
“That’s not your fault, (Y/N). Don’t you dare think it is.” His voice and face are so stern that it makes you a little nervous. Then he’s pushing you up off of him and for a slight second you feel completely rejected. Then he closes the space and his lips are on yours.


	8. Part 8

His lips move against yours so gently. They’re soft and smooth and it makes your eyes flutter closed. Ezra’s large hands are on both sides of your face, not caring that your cheeks are wet or that there’s probably mascara smearing everywhere. You don’t care either.  
Your back is against the wall and he’s kneeling next to you. The two of you stay like that until you feel like you’ll suffocate if you don’t break away. You raise your hand to his chest and push back, slightly gasping when you separate. Your lips tingle and your heart is at a million beats per minute. Then the dread of what you’ve just done settles in your stomach.  
“Ezra-” You begin, but he doesn’t seem to feel the same guilt as you, or if he does he’s decided not to care, because almost immediately you’re back in the same position.   
“Shh.” His open mouth is now eagerly attached to your own. You can feel a heat radiating between your bodies as one of his hands leaves your cheek and travels down the velvet of your dress, stopping just above your hip.   
Your own hands cannot be kept still as they move from his chest to his shoulders to his face, urging his lips harder against your own. You can feel the tension of the last couple months melting away when your fingers tangle in the back of his hair. It’s something you’d thought about doing so many nights when you were alone in your bed.  
It feels so good to have his body pressed against yours but after several more minutes you can no longer fight the thought that this is wrong. The concrete wall feels rougher against the bare skin of your neck, the concrete is hard beneath you, once again you’re lightly pushing him back.  
Ezra wipes his mouth with the back of his hand as he catches his breath, removing the red lipstick you’d smudged on his lips.   
“It’s his loss.” He says quietly. He’s still only an inch away and you don’t trust your voice enough to respond.  
“Your ex.” He elaborates, “It’s his fucking loss, (Y/N).” The way he says your name so low, so deeply, makes you want to forget that he’s supposed to be with Monica, forget Steven, forget everything.   
The door to the roof slams open with a loud clang of metal against metal and you jump up, breaking the spell. So does Ezra and he’s finally moved away from you as Garrett rushes over.   
“Hey, I’ve been looking all over for you! Is everything okay?” He looks at Ezra then back at you. Then he looks to the coat covering your shoulders.  
“I just needed some air. Everything’s fine.” You shake the coat off and hand it back to Ezra nervously, certain that Garrett knows what just happened.  
“I’ll see you around, (Y/N). Have a good night you guys.” He nods to Garrett and makes his way to the doorway.   
“You too, Ezra. You sounded great tonight, by the way.” Garrett smiles his perfect smile, completely oblivious.  
“Thanks man.” As Ezra turns to pull the door closed behind him, he makes eye contact with you and swipes his thumb across his lower lip, giving you a look that makes your knees weaken.  
You gulp and turn back to Garrett who’s eyes are travelling from the slit up the side of your dress and back up to your face.  
“Did I tell you how good you look tonight? You wanna get out of here?” He holds a hand out and you take it.  
Soon enough you’re in the back of a cab. He’s kissing you but it doesn’t feel the same. His lips are at the crook of your neck and then at your throat but your mind is far away.  
“Come back to my place.” He mumbles against your skin.  
“Okay.”


	9. Part 9

You’re thinking about Ezra’s mouth as Garrett’s makes its way down your torso. You’re lying across his bed, your dress has been tossed somewhere in the kitchen, and this beautiful, shirtless man is going lower and lower. As much as you want to enjoy the moment, your mind is replaying the night over and over. It feels days long rather than mere hours.  
“Is this okay?” The mumbled voice against your skin pulls you from the trance.  
“Mhm.” You sigh, closing your eyes, trying your hardest to stay present. Swiftly, he shifts your left leg over his shoulder and his face is pressed between your thighs.  
“Oh!” Your eyes fly open at the sensation of his tongue. “Oh my god, Garrett…”  
He hums against you in response, causing your back to arch and Garrett’s large hands grip onto your hips to keep steady. Any lingering thoughts were now gone. His lips sucking and caressing are all you can feel, all you can think about. This is exactly what you needed to get your mind off of everything.  
“You’ve been so tense tonight.” Garrett pulls back, licking his lips.  
“Ahh” You can’t help the whine that escapes when he detaches himself. He quickly replaces his tongue with his fingers.  
“You work too hard.” He whispers in between the kisses he’s now placing on your hips.  
“Garrett…” Your eyes squeeze shut.   
“Eileen works you too hard.” It’s not just Eileen causing you stress. His kisses are now at the valley between your breasts.  
“Please, Garrett.” You’re aching. He’s nipping at the side of your throat, fingers moving faster.  
“Just relax, baby.”

It’s May 1st. Four months since the gala. Four months since Ezra kissed you on the rooftop and four months of dating Garrett. After that night you’ve seen Monica less and less and Ezra not at all. You pulled back, telling her you had plans with Garrett or that you just weren’t feeling up to brunch or parties. You know she’s smart enough to realize you’re avoiding her now. The hurt she must feel is nothing compared to how she’d feel if she knew you kissed her boyfriend. You’re doing this for her.  
You play it off in your mind that you were vulnerable that night. Seeing Steven made you sad, both you and Ezra were drinking, and he only wanted to comfort you. It’s a simple mistake that Monica can never know about. Yet you still felt the guilt of it when you hung out with her and saw the framed photo of them in her living room. You know that they’re somewhat back together now or at least that’s what you’ve been told.  
In those four months Ezra has tried to contact you two times. The first call came weeks after the gala in early January. You were sitting at Garrett’s kitchen table when he brought your phone from the other room.  
“Babe, you’ve got a call.” He tosses it and your stomach drops at the sight of the caller ID.   
“Hello?” It comes out weirdly high pitched.  
“What’s up?” No hellos or greetings, just a ‘what’s up.’  
“Um, I’m just finishing some work. What about you?”  
“I want to see you again.” You drop your pen and Garrett raises an eyebrow.  
“Um…” You hold a finger up to signal ‘just a sec’ and slide open the glass door to the terrace.   
“That’s not a good idea.” You’re whispering for some reason.  
“Sure it is. I’ve got the day off. Let’s get some omelettes or -”  
“Then you should spend it with Monica.” You cut him off. “Seriously Ezra, this feels fucked up. Have you even spoke to her yet?”  
“(Y/N), come on, it’s not like that. Besides it was so nice seeing you at the gala…”  
Fucking Ezra, he didn’t talk to you for three weeks and then when you’re moving on, he’s back with his seductive voice in your ear.  
“What are you trying to do here? I can’t be your friend and I can’t see you. Don’t you get that?”  
“Jesus, (Y/N). I’m just messing with you. Sorry.” You heard him take a deep breath.   
“Are you? None of this should have happened so I’m going to pretend it didn’t and you should do the same.“  
“(Y/N),” He had the audacity to laugh right then, “All I’m doing is inviting you out to get an omelette. Bring your boyfriend for all I care.”  
“He’s not my boyfriend.” He practically was. You shouldn’t have said that.  
“Good.” There was a long silence.  
“Ezra…”  
“I actually spoke to Monica this morning and invited her first.” His voice sounded exasperated. “She already had plans and you know what, she was the one who suggested I invite you. She said you’d been crying over your ex still and that you could really benefit from the company.”  
Wow. You were speechless. You’d told Monica about seeing Steven that night, obviously leaving out the part where you cried on Ezra’s shoulder and everything that followed, but you’d only said it to make her feel better about her own relationship problems.  
“I was just trying to be nice, (Y/N).”   
“Can you two just stop talking about me? I don’t need you to be nice to me.” You started to raise your voice.  
“Fine. It’s not like we’re friends remember.” You heard a beep and he was gone.

Days went by like a blur after that as you worked tirelessly for Eileen. You were being considered for a pay raise and it’s just what you would need to move out of your gross apartment.  
“Just stay with me.” Garrett mentioned one night as you rested your head on his chest.   
“What? No way, that’d be too much.”  
“You’re here almost every night anyway. What would be the difference?”   
He was right. Everyday after work the two of you would either get dinner or make something in his extremely nice kitchen. You couldn’t believe you were technically working for the same company, yet he had stainless steel appliances and you didn’t even have a dishwasher. Regardless of where you ate your meals though, you always ended up in between his sheets at the end of the night. It felt nice to sleep with someone you didn’t have to sneak away from at 6am. You hadn’t had that in a while.   
The thought of moving in together frightened you though. You genuinely cared for Garrett but you didn’t love him, at least not yet. You’re having fun together, you enjoyed his company, and as a bonus you’re even having some of the best sex you’ve had in a long time. You rolled back over onto the pillow and wondered if things were moving too fast. 

Later that week you were in a taxi on your way to drop manuscripts off with Max. He was another person you’d been avoiding. Not purposely, but because you didn’t want to take the chance of running into Ezra in his building. The chances of that happening were low because you knew he was rarely home and always with his band. Yet still you were often paying your drivers extra to run things inside for you. Tonight was different though. You were sick of hiding from your friends and so what if you saw him? Like he told you, you weren’t friends. He’d probably ignore you anyways.  
“Well would you look at that!” You could hear Max’s voice from across the lobby. Your shoes clicked against the marble floor, creating an echo throughout the empty room.  
“Is that really Miss (Y/N)?” Max put on his glasses like he couldn’t believe his eyes.  
“Yes, it’s me.” You smiled once you reached his desk. “How are you?”  
“Oh it’s been lonely without you to gossip with.” You both laughed, “But nothing crazy has happened. Marcielle and I had our anniversary.”  
“Wow congratulations!”  
“Thanks sweetie.” He was beaming and you hoped that you could feel that happy one day. You knew that you shouldn’t have been thinking or asking it, but the words fell out of your mouth before you could stop.  
“Anymore drama with the Vampire Weekend guy?”  
“You know, he’s been spending a lot of time with that girl…” He paused to think, “The one who was always crying. Your friend right?” You nodded.  
“I guess you would know then but it seems they’ve made up.” Wow. So Ezra was telling the truth when he called. You weren’t sure what to make of the news. You wanted to feel happy. This meant no more scheming with Monica and everything could go back to normal. Everyone could pretend nothing ever happened. Besides, he should be going on tour soon so it’s not like you’d be running into him on the streets anymore. You decided you are happy.   
“That’s great news, Max! I wasn’t sure if they had or not.” You plastered a grin on your face.   
“So nice.” He agreed. You said your goodbyes and on the way back to your car you pulled out your phone which revealed a missed call and voicemail. It took you three listens to understand what was happening on the other end. It was Ezra and he was drunk. There were music and voices in the background and you could barely hear him over it.  
“(Y/N)............” Your name was one long slur, “(Y/N) I’ve been thinking about you.” There was rustling and you thought maybe he forgot to hang up but then the background muffled and you could hear him a little clearer.   
“Is that better? I’m outside now. I know I made you mad but I wish you’d pick up the phone. I was kind of a dick I know but you… you…” He stopped himself. “I did what you said, I talked to her. But fuck, (Y/N) I’ve been thinking about that kiss.” There were more voices and random yelling and laughing. You rolled your eyes. What the hell was this?  
“That kiss.” He said it again, slurring some more. “I didn’t do that to be nice, I wanted you. I know you felt the same way.” There was more noise and eventually the call ended. You listened to it again before pressing delete. That was the second and last time he contacted you.


	10. Part 10

"I miss you, my friend!" That's what the cover of the card you were holding in your hands read. There were generic clip art looking illustrations of flowers and two people holding hands. Skeptically, you flip it open to read the inside.  
"(Y/N), is this the only way to get ahold of you now? I know you're busy being in love with Gare Bear" You pause to cringe.  
"But I miss my best friend. You mean so much to me and I can't thank you enough for what you've done for me and Ez. He told me everything!" Oh no...  
"The way you convinced him to give me another chance and how he needed to get over himself! He and I are trying again... slowly this time. He's leaving for tour in the summer and I wanted to throw him a going away party. You and Garrett are invited! It can also be a party to celebrate rekindling our friendship! Please please please come, (Y/N), I'm dying to hug you! It's at 7 on Saturday.  
Love, Monica"  
You fantasize about ripping it up and throwing it off the balcony and avoiding your problems forever. Then you catch a glimpse of your face in the microwave reflection and remember you're an "adult" who shouldn't do that.  
"What's that?" Garrett's voice startles you.  
"Huh?" You start to set the card down behind you but his hands are too fast. He swipes it away with a grin on his face.  
"You're so secretive, (Y/N)." He begins to read the card aloud. "I know you're busy being in love with Gare Bear." He has to sit down on a bar stool because he's laughing so hard. You take the opportunity to snatch it back.  
"It's an invitation for Ezra's going away party." You explain as you reread the part about them trying again.  
"How long is he going to be gone?" He asks.  
"Probably a few months, I don't know." Hopefully longer.  
"Well you're going right?" As satisfying as it would feel to stay home with Netflix and pretend you just never checked the mail, you really do miss Monica. As much as the two of you have grown apart, there's still a big part of you that loves her.  
"If you come with me?" You hand him back the letter and Garrett pulls you into his lap as he finishes reading.  
"No can do, babe. I'll be camping remember?" Fuck. You'd forgotten about his camping trip reunion with his old college roommates. He's been babbling on about it for weeks.  
"You're really gonna make me do this on my own?" You pout and give him your best puppy dog eyes. He only laughs and kisses your lips until they return to normal.  
"What are you talking about? You hang out with Monica all the time."  
"Used to." You correct and he shoots you a look of confusion. You don't know how to explain your feelings to Garrett without revealing the kiss and the phone calls. Instead you mumble how much you're going to miss him and change the subject by pulling his face back to yours.  
"Mmm..." His lips eagerly oblige. "You're trying to distract me, huh?"  
"Is it working?" You grind yourself against him.  
"Yes..." His breath hitches, "But you're sure you don't want to talk about it?"  
"I really don't want to talk right now." You trail your lips from his mouth to his earlobe, nibbling, licking, brushing the side of his neck with your tongue in teasing movements.  
"(Y/N)..." His eyes flutter shut. "You know I'm here to listen... we should talk about things more."  
"Shh..." You ignore him, wishing he'd drop it. "Don't ruin this."  
You descend to the hollow of his neck, reaching down with one hand to palm the front of his jeans, the other latched onto his shoulder.  
"You know I'll only be gone two days right?"  
"Doesn't matter." Your hands make their way under the white tee shirt he's wearing. "I'll still miss you."  
"Want to show me just how much?" You feel him smile as he teases you. You break contact to stand and pull him from the chair, leading him back to the bedroom. You hope that this will distract you enough to settle your nerves about tomorrow. You push him down to the bed and straddle him, slowly pulling your shirt off. His hands immediately move to your lace bra and he begins massaging you through the delicate fabric. Your own hands move to his stomach when he breathily says, "I love you."  
Your hands retract from his hard abdomen and you nervously pull his shirt back down, unsure if you heard him correctly. "Um what?"  
Garrett pulls you down on top of him so that you're face to face and your elbows are holding you up. He gently pushes the stray strands of hair from your face and whispers the words again, "I said I love you. Move in with me (Y/N), let's do this, yeah? You're everything to me and I love you."  
He waits for your response and when only a weak smile forms on your face, he kisses you. It's too rough and his hands grab your ass unexpectedly, making you lurch forward and hit yourself on the headboard.  
You groan, grabbing your head, and rolling off of Garrett.  
"Baby, are you alright?" He tries to touch your head but you flinch away.  
"I'm fine."  
"Are you sure?" He reaches for you again.  
"Yes! I said I'm fine!" You snap and move yourself off the bed. The look on Garrett's face is a gut wrenching mix of hurt and concern. You take a deep breath before speaking again.  
"I'm sorry, I'm fine. I'm gonna go take a shower." You practically sprint into the bathroom, locking the door behind you. You turn the water on full blast to pretend you can't hear the light knocking on the door. You catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, no shirt, heaving chest, red bump on your forehead, an absolute mess.  
In the shower you start to cry and you can't pinpoint a real reason, making you even more upset. Garrett said he loved you. If you're being honest with yourself, you've known this since the first night he asked you to move in. You should just say yes, you're here all the time anyways, you're in his shower right now for god sake. But you simply can't make yourself feel the same level of intensity that Garrett does. You've been trying to make yourself love him but you cannot get to that level. There's always someone else in the back of your mind.  
"Sex won't make you love him, (Y/N)." You repeat to yourself as the hot water falls down your face.  
More knocking at the door, "(Y/N)? I'm gonna leave." You turn the water off to hear him better.  
"What?"  
"I'm spending the night at Chad's. I'll be back in the morning to get my camping gear. You can stay, I don't care."  
"Okay." It takes you a minute to respond. Is he mad at you? Does he know? You watch the water droplets trickle from the ends of your hair down the drain.  
"Okay." And then he's gone.  
\----  
Your sleep is the worst it's been in months. It's filled with nightmares where Eileen is threatening to fire you if you can't get to the office on time. Of course your taxi cabs keep getting flat tires. You run to the subway but it's moving in slow motion. You give up and just run down the sidewalk, but each window you pass is playing a horrific scene. The first one is Steven in bed with the model he cheated with, not even looking up until you're yelling. They're in your bed, laughing at you.  
You run past to the next building. There's Ezra and Monica, lips locked in front of you at the Halloween party from last year. They break apart and Monica looks at you with the most intense rage you've ever seen. "Trying to steal my boyfriend, you bitch?"  
You're running as fast as your legs will take you but for some infuriating reason, you get slower and slower. You pass Garrett who's throwing your clothes out into the hallway of his apartment building, calling you a whore. You pass your mom and dad, shaking their heads in disappointment at you, and finally you reach Eileen, your boss.  
"Where's the manuscript?" She asks. You look down at your hands. They're empty. It's not possible! You just had them, you had felt the paper between your fingers just a second ago.  
"Wait, I have them! They're somewhere-" You're frantically looking down the hall of the office, but it's gone. It's just you and Eileen and she looks furious.  
"It's too late, (Y/N). You're done."  
You bolt upright, gasping for air. You reach for the cup of water on the nightstand, but it's dark and you're disoriented so it falls to the floor. The sound of glass shattering fills the room and you fall back against the pillow. Your hair's still damp or maybe it's the sweat. Either way, you're too exhausted and shaken from the dream to deal with anything. You shut your eyes again but quickly realize you won't be getting any more sleep. Every time you shut them, your brain replays last halloween. Ezra spilling his drink on you, his dark eyes staring you down in the dim lit kitchen. The first time you really started thinking about him this way. The beginning of this disaster. Before you can stop yourself, you're unlocking your phone and doing what you know you need to do. You scroll to Ezra's name.  
"Can I see you tomorrow before the party?"  
\----  
"You're looking rough." That's the first thing he says to you when he walks into the coffee shop.  
"If you're going to be an ass I'll just leave." You threaten. He's not wrong though. You know your under eyes are dark and puffy. You take a sip of your iced macchiato, savoring the caffeine that you so desperately need after your horrible night. All you did before leaving was throw on a clean-ish pair of leggings and secured your tangly hair to the top of your head.  
"I'm kidding, you look lovely as always." He actually looked great for an early Saturday morning. His hair had grown out since the last time you'd seen him and he looked weirdly good wearing a polo you'd normally expect to see someone's dad in.  
"Do you want to go walk somewhere?" You ask. The question takes Ezra off guard. He probably thought you'd invited him here just to berate him.  
"Yeah sure. Yes. Let's go." He holds the door open for you, letting you lead the way and he follows you to central park. It's quiet for a while between the two of you, but the park is loud and alive. Kids are running and screaming on the playgrounds. Horse drawn carriages gallop past as well as swarms of cyclists and tourists.  
"So-" You both say at the same time, cutting each other off.  
"You first." You offer.  
"Okay..." He begins. "I'm sorry I called you that night, I was really fucked up."  
"So you didn't mean that stuff?" This could all be for nothing. Maybe he was just looking for a hookup.  
"Honestly, I don't remember all that I said." You sip on your coffee for a long time as he looks at you, waiting for you to fill in his gaps. After a moment, you finally turn to him.  
"You said, and I quote, 'I didn't kiss you to be nice, I wanted you and I know you felt the same way.' So did you mean that?" You'd memorized his words. It's now his turn to sip on his coffee and leave you hanging.  
"Did you want me to mean that?" You roll your eyes at his bullshit response.  
"That's not an answer, Ezra."  
"Okay, yeah (Y/N), I like you. I always have." There it was. So simply said. This opens up even more questions and things to figure out but you decide to let yourself enjoy the moment. He smiles at you and you smile back, your stomach fluttering with a million emotions.  
"So what are you thinking?" He continues.  
"What am I not thinking?" You ponder to both Ezra and yourself. "I guess I'm thinking about Monica and Garrett and about last night."  
"What happened last night?"  
"Garrett told me he loves me." You admit, curious to see how Ezra will react to that. But he doesn't, he just lets you talk. "I couldn't say it back and he left. He's a really good guy and I feel so bad. I couldn't sleep and I hit my head really hard."  
"He's not that good." Ezra mumbles in between drinks.  
"What? You barely know him."  
"I think you can do better, (Y/N)." His jealousy is now apparent.  
"Oh really?" You smile up at him again.  
"Yes, definitely. But we don't have to figure that out right now."   
He tosses his cup into a trash can and takes your hand. You reluctantly go with it but you're glad when you do. You notice how large his hand is compared to yours and the rough calluses on his finger tips brush against your skin. "Let's go call a cab, there's somewhere we should go that I know will make you feel better."


End file.
